this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
