it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
me + whiskey = a bad person
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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