Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
