I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm bleeding and have questions
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
