Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i will never coherently bang her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
