road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
