I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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