if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
