It's Friday. Sex?
high people should be assigned attendants
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
