I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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