Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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