Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
