It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
