Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
