I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
