he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
