Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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