phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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