So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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