i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
