He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
