So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
