I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
