You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
