watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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