i permit you to call me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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