come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
