There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
