Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
