is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
its liver damage thursday
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
