ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
