So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
