im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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