she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize