How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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