I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
