There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
