I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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