I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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