TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
