Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
