my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
