I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
