A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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