He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
