taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
