u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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