It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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