Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
