I feel great
I just peed on a car
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
